Not Love

Driving an hour one way on the interstate.
Medians and cars.
Tegan and Sara coming through my speakers.
Just wanting to get a little bit closer.

Pulling up in the driveway.
A nervous energy begins to flow.
Second thoughts dance and flutter through my mind.

Is this what I want?
Has it ever been?

I walk up the drive to the door, which is always open.
The musty smell of dirt, filth, and stale cigarette smoke greet me.

I see you and suddenly it dawns on me like it always does.

I don’t want to be here. Why did I come back?