That friend I had mentioned a few posts or so back… Is back. She texted me last night about The Glass Castle coming out in theaters tonight. So in turn I replied asking if she would like to go see it with me sometime while it’s out.
That’s kind of the short story which holds very little actual information or meaning behind us and The Glass Castle.
I don’t remember how I came across the memoir The Glass Castle. Or even what year it was. I just know that I had the paperback in my possession and probably read it over a dozen times — dog-eared and everything.
Shortly after my friend was accosted and we reconnected, I lent it to her to read. It affected her just as profoundly.
For me, there is something special about that memoir. It’s not that I relate to it literally, but it’s the writer’s conveying of emotions toward her family as she is growing up. I didn’t grow up with a father who was always on the run. My parents did not choose art and creativity over running water and power. But I could relate to how she felt. My father had a stable career, but he was an alcoholic who was absent more than present. My issues growing up are not inherent to hers. But there were moments.
And oddly enough my friend and I are connected in that way as well. Our families are not the same, but she and I grew up together and got to see glimpses of each other’s lives. For instance, my father came back into the picture a “sober” man in 99. I fought with him tooth and nail because I hated him with every molecule of my being. I lived in fear of him in my childhood and when my parents separated in 96, I thought I’d never have to see him again. My friend was the only friend I had that actually understood why I was so damn disrespectful and hateful toward my father.
I saw the intricacies in her family. When her mom would get all dolled up to go out to the clubs and return home later to dance with us in the living room. When we’d be at her dad’s and he would be such the host with making sure we had everything and drive my friend crazy with all the questions he had for us. When I would annoy the shit out of her brother, she did that as well, but when I was there it was mostly me.
But we both had moments. We had feelings and times where we thought our families were so fucked up. And sometimes they really were. And as it stands now, I don’t talk to my father, sister or get to see my nephew. My sister has cut herself and my nephew from my mom. But a bright side is my mom is very happy and in love with a man she respects and who respects her. Hell, even I respect him. And for my friend, her brother got married without so much as inviting her or their mom to the wedding. Her sister is still with the creep who molested me and attempted to rape my friend. My friend’s dad’s health isn’t so great. But on her bright side, she has the most amazing daughter.
So yeah, family sucks sometimes but friendships don’t have to if you can learn to be a little less stubborn and a little less assuming.