I am, I am, I am

Live today as if you’re going to die tomorrow. Someone said that once or twice, and maybe in another way. I have been unemployed for two months. Going on three since we have now entered August. In this amount of time, I haven’t had much interaction with people my age. I have kind of mentioned this here, here, and here.

I came across a quote by Sylvia Plath.

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I desire to go out and live like it’s my last day alive. I desire to be able to leave the comforts of these four walls. The most I can muster to do is go to the Walgreens down on the corner to pick up cigarettes. Even then, I have to use music to get me going.

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I don’t know if I am depressed or just complacent. Or if those are synonymous. Or maybe I am just an extreme version of an introvert. Then I wonder, at what age does it stop being shyness and start becoming Social Anxiety? Can’t adults just be shy?

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I don’t know what the world has in store for me. Whether it’s me at the wheel or that little ideology that is known as destiny. But this little intermission is consumingly lackluster.

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