It’s okay, but I wish it was easy like it sounds. Just believe one day and your walls start coming down.

I had to say goodbye to a friend who wanted to make amends. It just took a while to say goodbye. Or really, get the courage to explain how I feel. When she first messaged me on Facebook back in April, I told her if she could forgive the name I called her in 5th grade, I could forgive her.

Yet, I couldn’t.

The short and simple truth is I stopped liking her as my friend. We have a ton of baggage that has built up over the years. We are both pretty sensitive people, but when provoked react differently. She has a fiery hot temper, I get cold and standoffish.

Roughly from 5th grade to the beginning of 8th grade we had a tight bond. We spent almost all of our time hanging out and being kids. Then we did something stupid one night that caused a huge riff between us. We ended up at a hotel with her 19 year old sister and her 20 year old boyfriend.

Long story short, I was molested by her sister’s boyfriend and she was the first person I told. She took her sister’s side and we stopped talking until one day, after high school was over, she calls me to tell me he attempted to rape her.

We were talking again. But for me there was still a riff.

We have had a few pretty hot arguments over the recent years. She has thrown my mental disorder in my face on a few occasions. And that has only deepened the divide.

So I told her how I felt and she started to become defensive, but I ignored it. I didn’t know whether to “unfriend” her on Facebook so I’ve just let it lie.

This morning she posted this:

Since certain people wanna lurk
Here’s something for you to look 👀 at with your thirsty ass! 💁🏻 😎 FOH Enjoy My family photos Bitch

It’s probably pointed at me precisely, but I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of me unfriending her for it so I just unfollowed her.

6 Comments

    1. Nora Elise

      Well I think if I had before she posted that status, it wouldn’t mean as much. But I know her, if I do it now, she’ll feel vindication. She’s hurt and upset that I don’t want to be friends. Things I post she can’t see (love the “for friends except..” filter) and I unfollowed her so she wouldn’t pop up in my feed. So really it’s not about protecting my mental health anymore, just not giving her anything to chew on. It’s only FB after all, ain’t that serious. 🙂

      Like

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