When nervous, expect word vomit to expel out of my mouth.


My interview didn’t go quite the way I had hoped.

I arrived 10 minutes prior and sat patiently on the cushioned bench. I read some brochures they had displayed. A young woman strolled in casually through the door, soda in hand and said she’d be with me shortly.

15 minutes after the inital appointment time, she brought me back to the office.

Then this happened.

Woman: So you work at [car dealership]?

Me: Yes, I do.

Woman: Why do you want to leave?

Me: I just don’t feel the car industry is a good fit. [because it sucks]

Woman: What do you know about construction?

Me: Other than watching a lot of HGTV, not very much. [fucking brilliant, huh?]

Woman: What do you want to do in the long term?

Me: I’m in school now and I have changed my major quite a bit…[because I have no fucking clue]

Woman: Well what is your major now?

Me: Nursing. [actually, it’s still theatre arts, but potato potato]

Woman: Why do you want to be a nurse?

Me: I like to help people. [I actually do like to help people, but not in a hospital setting. If I could do college over again, I’d choose Social Work]

Woman: What’s your biggest strength?

Me: Puncuality. [Seriously. I have a billion strengths and I pick that as my biggest?]

Woman: What’s something you’re working to improve?

Me: I can be a bit anxious at times [wtf. where did that come from? for the record she wrote anxiety in her notes, I have a talent for reading upside down.]

We wrapped up, yes on that note, and she told me to call her the next afternoon for her decision. I called, she didn’t remember me and then told me she spoke with her husband about interviewing more candidates and to call again next week.

Fuck that noise.

Worst interview EVAR.